Worderella Reveals a Snippet

Dear Reader,

I am ashamed to admit it has been, according to 750words.com, five days since I last wrote a word for Haunting Miss Trentwood. Thank goodness for blogfests! I almost forgot I agreed to be a part of the Rainy Day blogfest, held by The Writer’s Hole.

Below is my submission, a first-draft snippet of Chapter 24 from my work-in-progress, Haunting Miss Trentwood. To give you an idea of the story, it is set in 1887 England, and the tagline is “Father knows best… even after death.” Enjoy!

By the time they reached Wayland’s Smithy, it had begun to rain. It was the kind of loud rain which spoke of the end of winter and the coming of spring. Mary had been forced to jog that last one hundred yards to the black opening of the Saxon tomb. She had slid on the slick rock floor covered with decaying leaves. Trentwood’s tight grasp on her arm righted her. She jerked away from his unnatural touch.

Mary huddled beneath the sheltering rocks of the sarsen stones that made the ceiling, her arms wrapped tightly around her waist. I haven’t anything left to vomit. “Tell me what happened back there.”

Trentwood stood in the shadows beside her. She could feel his white eyes watching her, and fought the wave of nausea that shuddered through her body. Those white eyes had, for a brief moment, looked at her through Hartwell’s eyes. Certainly she hadn’t imagined that? Trentwood had, for a time, stepped into Hartwell’s body so he could land a devastating punch to Sedgwick’s jaw. One couldn’t imagine that. Just as one couldn’t imagine one’s father haunting one.

I’m not mad. Please, tell me I’m not mad.

Outside, the rain plummeted to the ground more furiously than Mary had ever seen. It was as if the sky vomited on her behalf. She closed her eyes and leaned her forehead into the moss that clung to the vertical stone walls. She sighed as the cool rock soothed the pounding at her temples.

“What would you like to know?”

She wasn’t sure where to begin. “How did you do it?”

Trentwood shrugged. “One minute I was watching you thrash about in bed, and I heard you scream that terrifying scream of yours, and the next minute, I was in your dream. I haven’t the slightest clue how it happened.”

Mary blinked. Wait, what? Her tongue felt heavy in her mouth. “I was talking about when you possessed Mr. Hartwell, Father.”

Again, Trentwood shrugged. “I’m as new to this being dead folderol as you are in watching it.”

Wiping beads of sweat from her brow, Mary whispered, “You will limit such… jaunts… in the future, I hope?”

“Indeed,” he said with a short laugh. “It pains me to do it as much as it seems to pain you to watch it. Do you know how difficult it is to be dead, hopping around from one mind or body to the next, not knowing how you got there, or how you’ll get out?” He stepped closer, and she could smell his death-stench.

“No, I don’t. I never thought it was a skill I would need to learn.”

He grunted. “Inherited your mother’s morbid sense of humor, I see.”

“Given the circumstances, I think I’m glad of it.”

Suddenly seeming sheepish, Trentwood took yet another step closer. “Mary, we must talk about your dream. We must talk about your mother’s death.”

Definitely make sure you check out the other submissions. Thanks for reading!

All the best,

Belinda

25 thoughts on “Worderella Reveals a Snippet

  1. Well I don't know how this piece sits into the larger context of your WIP, but there's some lovely vivid imagery and descriptive turns of phrase. I really felt drawn into the environment. The line "It was as if the sky vomited on her behalf" made me laugh, but the image really works.

    Like

    1. Thank you Franklin! It's a pretty direct relation to the larger context of the WIP… Trentwood is Mary's father, and he's haunting her. Things have gotten more confusing as they realize he's not the typical ghost: he's able to possess her potential love interest to deck her other potential love interest! What daughter wouldn't feel seriously ill after seeing that?

      I'm glad you liked the imagery. I never know if I'm going overboard. And I can't help but be snarky with my descriptions sometimes haha.

      Like

  2. Well I don’t know how this piece sits into the larger context of your WIP, but there’s some lovely vivid imagery and descriptive turns of phrase. I really felt drawn into the environment. The line “It was as if the sky vomited on her behalf” made me laugh, but the image really works.

    Like

    1. Thank you Franklin! It’s a pretty direct relation to the larger context of the WIP… Trentwood is Mary’s father, and he’s haunting her. Things have gotten more confusing as they realize he’s not the typical ghost: he’s able to possess her potential love interest to deck her other potential love interest! What daughter wouldn’t feel seriously ill after seeing that?

      I’m glad you liked the imagery. I never know if I’m going overboard. And I can’t help but be snarky with my descriptions sometimes haha.

      Like

  3. This is great writing and I don't think you went overboard. You did use the word vomit twice really close together. I love the one about the sky, so if you were to change anything – I would definitely keep that one.

    Thanks for sharing, sounds like the book will be a romp to say the least.

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    1. Thank you Wendy! That's a really good point, I'll have to take a look at finding alternatives for "vomit." I hate using the same word too often.

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  4. This is great writing and I don’t think you went overboard. You did use the word vomit twice really close together. I love the one about the sky, so if you were to change anything – I would definitely keep that one.

    Thanks for sharing, sounds like the book will be a romp to say the least.

    Like

    1. Thank you Wendy! That’s a really good point, I’ll have to take a look at finding alternatives for “vomit.” I hate using the same word too often.

      Like

  5. Well done, and, might I add, quite creepy. You certainly have a gift for compelling prose. Thank you for participating in the blogfest! I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to get caught up with reading all the entries.

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  6. Well done, and, might I add, quite creepy. You certainly have a gift for compelling prose. Thank you for participating in the blogfest! I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to get caught up with reading all the entries.

    Like

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