Procrastination

I should be studying for my finite automata exam. Really, I should. However, I find myself procrastinating. Which is funny, because usually I use my studying and classwork as a way to procrastinate from my writing. Now, I’m procrastinating from the very thing that allows me to procrastinate.

Why am I procrastinating from my writing? Well, because when I look at the page, I sigh and my shoulders slump, rather than smile and put my eager fingers to the keyboard. Like I said before, I know where I want to go next. What I don’t know, what the characters refuse to tell me, is what path to take in order to get there. And no, I am not schizophrenic, though sometimes my mother worries I might be when I start talking about my characters as if they were alive.

The interesting thing about this (to me, at least) is that I have to write. I need to write. Not writing causes actual changes in personality. Feel free to picture a Jekyll/Hyde situation, but only because it’s amusing, not because it’s true. I do become a little more cranky, but the main thing is, I feel a lot more stress when I don’t write. Being a person generally inclined towards stress (and here my friends laugh and shake their heads at me because they know that’s an understatement), having a writing outlet has become an integral part of my personality, especially if I want to maintain general content (the adjective, not the noun).

I’ve heard from multiple people that this…need rather than want to write is what makes me a “serious” writer. I heard it earlier today, actually. Does it make me a serious writer? Perhaps so. I can’t be sure, I only know my experience with writing. I do know that there is a direct correlation between how stressed I am, and how long ago I last wrote something “creative.” Or sometimes since the last time I wrote anything, period.

So, I suppose my main hope is that by writing this entry, I will have gotten the procrastination blues out of me. That I will turn from my monitor excited to study finite automata, context-free grammars, and regular languages.

Or…at least helped you all to procrastinate a little with me.

4 thoughts on “Procrastination

  1. I don’t think it’s odd that you talk about your characters like they are real people at all. I’ve done theater and danced…both require you to submerge yourself in the character and understand it inside and out. When you say things like:

    What I don’t know, what the characters refuse to tell me, is what path to take in order to get there.

    I can understand where you are coming from and how you understand what you are doing. It just sounds odd when I talk about asking my building what it would like to be doing on the site….but it’s a similar process.

    Good luck with the book and with finals.

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  2. I don’t think it’s odd that you talk about your characters like they are real people at all. I’ve done theater and danced…both require you to submerge yourself in the character and understand it inside and out. When you say things like:

    What I don’t know, what the characters refuse to tell me, is what path to take in order to get there.

    I can understand where you are coming from and how you understand what you are doing. It just sounds odd when I talk about asking my building what it would like to be doing on the site….but it’s a similar process.

    Good luck with the book and with finals.

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  3. Haha that’s why I love talking to other creative, artistic people. Sure, maybe the medium is different, but the paths in order to get the message across are often the same.

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  4. Haha that’s why I love talking to other creative, artistic people. Sure, maybe the medium is different, but the paths in order to get the message across are often the same.

    Like

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