Chapter Two of The Rebel’s Hero

6 Comments

  1. I should imagine there must have been some undisciplined girls around then, always have been I would think, great courage tho and great slackness on adults part. It sounds good. Easy on the eye, do you know what happens or is she a character with a mind of her own leading you onwards?!!

    Good goals there and lifts the pressure not having large word counts to try and acheive. Best of luck next week

    1. I agree! Undisciplined girls are the ones that make things happen, anyway, if you ask me.

      I do know what happens, I have the major plot points figured out, now I just have to fill in the details. Though, while writing the next chapter I was surprised to find out that two of my characters are sisters… and I didn't plan for that. Funny how that happens!

  2. One of Jane Austen's characters (Catherine Moorland in "Northanger Abbey") was described as having been a tomboy as a child, who played sports with the boys. So I think if you handle it right, you can make it fly. :)

    I'm liking the heroine more – she seems a more sympathetic character now. :) And I like the way more plot threads are starting to come through. Throwing in her thoughts a little at a time as she runs works well. :)

    I think you need make it clearer WHY she thinks this letter is so important, though. To me it seems just a little random. Maybe more emphasis on her mother NEVER getting letters? Perhaps Howard has been deliberately isolating her. He seems the sort to do that. :D

    I do like the way it's coming together, though. And I think you're incredibly brave to post your first drafts! I haven't even let my Mum see mine! :D

    1. Ruth, thank you for reminding me about that! I completely forgot that Catherine was supposed to be tomboyish. I'll have to go back and re-read the sections describing her, just to see how Miss Austen approached the subject.

      Thanks for the critique! That's a great point. I was wondering if I needed to go into more detail about the letter, and you answered my question.

      This is why I've been posting these first drafts. I need to get out of my head and hear what concerns readers have! Thanks for commenting, I really appreciate it.

  3. Oh man, thanks Shari! You're right, Tempest is very no-nonsense. I mean, I can't say I realized that until you said it, but now that you've said it, you're totally right. That's definitely something I'll have to keep in mind as I go forward with the story. Thanks so much for pointing out I had lost the tone of the moment.

    Yeah… it wouldn't make sense for Tempest to have a heaving bosom… she's practically flat up there hahaha.

    Huh. I guess I didn't see posting the excerpt as something scary… I figured the people who would care to comment would be constructive. It's worked out so far! :)

    In terms of the romance… I'm beginning to realize, and come to terms with the fact, that I write young adult historical romance. My romances are too chaste to be considered adult, I think. If they are adult romances, they are definitely "sweet" adult romances. So that said, you might like my books. They're pretty light on physical romance, focusing on the relationship instead.

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