November 2008

You are browsing the site archives for November 2008.

“Men are so adulterous!”
“What makes you think men are more adulterous?”
“Men are definitely more adulterous.”
“Well… who do you think these men are having sex with?”

I have become a new fan of TED online, which is this amazing website that gives all of us the option to watch amazing performances and speakers for free, so that good ideas can proliferate. Helen Fisher on Romantic Love really got me thinking, both as a person, and as a writer. It’s about ten minutes. Fisher discusses what she says are the three brain systems of love:

  1. Sexual love
  2. Romantic Love
  3. Attachment

I found this video so interesting. Fisher talks about the differences between men and women in terms of how they think, gather information, and how we are moving toward a collaborative society. She talks about the recurrence of the “companion marriage,” and “romantic love,” which is a throwback to one of my favorite 19th century authors, Margaret Fuller.

She mentions how the three brain systems aren’t always connected to one another, which explains how one can feel attached, and yet not have a romantic love, for someone. Or to be sexually attracted, but not feel attached. And these feelings can change from minute to minute. She asks why it is that we fall in love with one person, rather than another.

Isn’t that the real question all romance authors are asking? I feel like that’s my question, anyway.

As a romantic author, I felt like this video really helped me first to understand, perhaps, the underpinnings of love from a biological standpoint, with an emotional filter layered on top. This, I feel, is important to understanding what, really, is important in terms of writing about love, in any of its forms. I’d love to hear what you think about this video.

Do you agree with what Fisher has to say? And how are your projects coming along?