Focus on those Nitty Gritty Details

9 Comments

  1. Great workshops all week!

    Also, I forget when you posted it, but your post about villains really helped me. Last night I wrote a new scene where I focused in on my villain and made him more villain-y. It's a good thing, becuase so far, he was kind of namby-pamby.

  2. Great workshops all week!
    Also, I forget when you posted it, but your post about villains really helped me. Last night I wrote a new scene where I focused in on my villain and made him more villain-y. It’s a good thing, becuase so far, he was kind of namby-pamby.

  3. Good! I never used to make my villains very villainous until this WIP, so I thought writing about the things I kept in mind would help other writers, too. So I'm glad it helped you. :)

  4. Good! I never used to make my villains very villainous until this WIP, so I thought writing about the things I kept in mind would help other writers, too. So I’m glad it helped you. :)

  5. I'm in the process of setting up a timeline/editing to-do list for my WIP so this topic (and all your workshops) have been very timely and helpful to me. Thank you!

    I loved your re-write, especially the last 2 paragraphs. They moved the action and gave a wonderful picture of Amy and her views. I could literally see and feel her sitting primly (at least in my head) while snapping that book shut.

    I was wondering (this is so minor) about the decision to hold off on mentioning her name. About mid-way you use the phrase 'named Amy Williams' which jarred me out of the scene (your opening had me on that train till then – great job pulling me in as a reader). Maybe using her name in the first sentence could avoid the phrase and help the reader immediately hone in on the main character. For example,

    Amy Williams adjusted her blue poke bonnet as she rolled her neck, popping free an hours-long kink.

    The phrase 'young woman' could replace the 'she' in the second sentence to get that detail in.

  6. I’m in the process of setting up a timeline/editing to-do list for my WIP so this topic (and all your workshops) have been very timely and helpful to me. Thank you!

    I loved your re-write, especially the last 2 paragraphs. They moved the action and gave a wonderful picture of Amy and her views. I could literally see and feel her sitting primly (at least in my head) while snapping that book shut.

    I was wondering (this is so minor) about the decision to hold off on mentioning her name. About mid-way you use the phrase ‘named Amy Williams’ which jarred me out of the scene (your opening had me on that train till then – great job pulling me in as a reader). Maybe using her name in the first sentence could avoid the phrase and help the reader immediately hone in on the main character. For example,

    Amy Williams adjusted her blue poke bonnet as she rolled her neck, popping free an hours-long kink.

    The phrase ‘young woman’ could replace the ‘she’ in the second sentence to get that detail in.

  7. Shannon – I'm glad to help. And thank you about the re-write. Your point about mentioning her name earlier is very valid and a change that should occur in edits, for sure. Good job!

  8. Shannon – I’m glad to help. And thank you about the re-write. Your point about mentioning her name earlier is very valid and a change that should occur in edits, for sure. Good job!

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