WIP: A New Beginning

8 Comments

  1. I have trouble reading present tense in general. Regardless, I like the update better. The first one seemed to have too much empty drama. The second gave a good, firm reason for there to be a problem.

  2. I have trouble reading present tense in general. Regardless, I like the update better. The first one seemed to have too much empty drama. The second gave a good, firm reason for there to be a problem.

  3. I agree with the empty drama… I like the visuals of the original scene, but without the reason behind it the whole thing felt melodramatic for no reason.

    I've often wondered why readers have a problem with present tense. Is it too "in your face"? I've had one reader say they didn't like the present tense, and another say it made the story more personable/immediate. And still another reader who made no remarks on it, so I have to assume they were neutral/apathetic about the issue.

  4. I agree with the empty drama… I like the visuals of the original scene, but without the reason behind it the whole thing felt melodramatic for no reason.

    I’ve often wondered why readers have a problem with present tense. Is it too “in your face”? I’ve had one reader say they didn’t like the present tense, and another say it made the story more personable/immediate. And still another reader who made no remarks on it, so I have to assume they were neutral/apathetic about the issue.

  5. I think my problem with the present tense is that one, I'm not used to reading it, so it automatically moves out of my comfort zone, and two, it makes the prose… loud? It is more immediate, yes, but it never stops being immediate. It doesn't break or slow down, or change volume.

  6. I think my problem with the present tense is that one, I’m not used to reading it, so it automatically moves out of my comfort zone, and two, it makes the prose… loud? It is more immediate, yes, but it never stops being immediate. It doesn’t break or slow down, or change volume.

  7. Hmm… good point. I like present tense because it cleans up the prose so much. One of my major pet peeves in writing is the "had-had" syndrome, as I like to call it. Example: "She thought she had had time to think it through, but of course, she had not." It's clunky. Whereas with present tense, you get: "She thought she had time to think it through, but of course, she did not." It's more elegant.

    And to be honest, I don't want to immediacy to break. The issues that my character has to deal with on a fundamental level are issues that everyone of us will have to deal with, without escape. I want that point to be subtly clear even on the level of prose construction.

  8. Hmm… good point. I like present tense because it cleans up the prose so much. One of my major pet peeves in writing is the “had-had” syndrome, as I like to call it. Example: “She thought she had had time to think it through, but of course, she had not.” It’s clunky. Whereas with present tense, you get: “She thought she had time to think it through, but of course, she did not.” It’s more elegant.

    And to be honest, I don’t want to immediacy to break. The issues that my character has to deal with on a fundamental level are issues that everyone of us will have to deal with, without escape. I want that point to be subtly clear even on the level of prose construction.

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