The new year cometh
- Jan, 01 2008
- By Belinda
- About Writing, Everyday Life
- 9 comments
Happy new year, everyone! Here’s hoping your muse is kind. Mine favored me at the end of my break from school, the procrastinating little wretch that she is, and I’m now 76% complete with the WIP manuscript! I’ve done a lot of work-shopping on the tagline and the hook. Here’s what I came up with for my WIP, Trentwood’s Orphan…
A grieving daughter encounters love and ghosts in Victorian England.
A proposal on the anniversary of her father’s death is not Mary Winslow’s idea of romance, but as a 26-year-old maid in Victorian England, Mr Spencer is her last chance. When Mary catches Mr Spencer seducing her scullery maid, her regimented world falls apart, and her secret deathbed promise to her father comes back to haunt her…literally.
What do you think? Something worth reading, or do I need more edits?
From an administrative standpoint, there are new fun things here at the blog, mainly that I have a new plug-in that highlights posts related to the topic of the post you’re currently reading. I added blurbs about the books I’ve written, and I updated the About and Reading List pages. Fellow authors, if your website needs a new look, or if you haven’t looked into web marketing, check out the Siriomi Web Designs tab as an affordable solution to your problems.
My next post will be listing my most and least favorite books of 2007, how many pages I read, etc. What would you like to see in 2008? More information on publishing? Let me know.
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Bethany/Word Nerd
I’m confused… if Mary is a maid, why does she have a scullery maid? I know they are two different positions, but still. Maybe it’s just me, but Mr Spencer sounds like a rake to me. Is he a gentlemen of any standing at all? If so, why’s he going for maids? Does Mary get any income from her father’s death? The first sentence too me, implied she was low-rung society. While her father’s ghost is no good, why isn’t Mary better off without the guy?
(Probably not what you wanted to hear? Right?)
Bethany/Word Nerd
I’m confused… if Mary is a maid, why does she have a scullery maid? I know they are two different positions, but still. Maybe it’s just me, but Mr Spencer sounds like a rake to me. Is he a gentlemen of any standing at all? If so, why’s he going for maids? Does Mary get any income from her father’s death? The first sentence too me, implied she was low-rung society. While her father’s ghost is no good, why isn’t Mary better off without the guy?
(Probably not what you wanted to hear? Right?)
Belinda
Actually, that’s exactly what I needed to hear! I had no idea I was still causing confusion, and I obviously need to add more information. When I wrote “maid” to describe Mary, I actually meant “single.” Poor choice of words… she’s actually the daughter of a viscount. The main premise is that Mary’s lonely after taking care of her father for eight years, and feeling a little desperate about her loneliness, so she accepts her longtime and only friend Mr Spencer (she does have money, but no real prospects since rich Americans are taking all of the London elite and Mary, for her own reasons, doesn’t want to go to London). It’s a rash decision she immediately regrets, so she breaks it off. Here is the second half of the hook I wrote above:
Belinda
Actually, that’s exactly what I needed to hear! I had no idea I was still causing confusion, and I obviously need to add more information. When I wrote “maid” to describe Mary, I actually meant “single.” Poor choice of words… she’s actually the daughter of a viscount. The main premise is that Mary’s lonely after taking care of her father for eight years, and feeling a little desperate about her loneliness, so she accepts her longtime and only friend Mr Spencer (she does have money, but no real prospects since rich Americans are taking all of the London elite and Mary, for her own reasons, doesn’t want to go to London). It’s a rash decision she immediately regrets, so she breaks it off. Here is the second half of the hook I wrote above:
Bethany/Word Nerd
Ah. Now that I understand Mary’s place in the world, it’s much clearer. I still think Spencer sounds like a rake. ;)
Bethany/Word Nerd
Ah. Now that I understand Mary’s place in the world, it’s much clearer. I still think Spencer sounds like a rake. ;)
Belinda
Well then that’s definitely something I need to work on, because Spencer is sort of a rake, but he also isn’t a bad guy. Just misled. :)
Belinda
Well then that’s definitely something I need to work on, because Spencer is sort of a rake, but he also isn’t a bad guy. Just misled. :)
Worderella Writes » A Writing Update
[...] I don’t like it because I still feel like it doesn’t represent the novel properly. This book is very internal, for all main characters involved. How do you make a book about a woman learning to let go of her father’s death and allowing herself to get hurt/fall in love sound like something worth reading? Or is that enough? I feel like it wouldn’t have enough “hook” to it. Have any suggestions/thoughts? Does this sound like something you would want to read? For a previous version with more details and less focus, see here. [...]